A CEITHIR DEUG
GHNOG Somhairle MacIain air doras an t-seòmair-sgeadachaidh. Chuala e MacAsgaill agus Màiri NicIllinnein a’ bruidhinn aig bonn na staidhre, agus bha an trannsa anns an robh e na sheasamh trang le muinntir an telebhisean a’ giùlan na h-uidheim aca a-mach dha na bhanaichean a bha a’ feitheamh aig an doras-cùil. Ach cha robh fuaim sam bith a’ tighinn às an rùm.
Dh’fhosgail e doras an t-seòmair-sgeadachaidh a bha air a chur a-mach dhan Chaimbeulach agus chaidh e a-steach. Cha robh laiste ach aon solas ìseal agus anns an duibhre chunnaic e an Caimbeulach sìnte air a dhruim air an làr na shuain chadail. Bha trì botail uisge-bheatha cha mhòr falamh agus canastairean leann nan seasamh ri sgeilp a bha a’ ruith fo shreath sgàthanan air fear dhe na ballachan.
Chuir manaidsear an taigh-chluiche a bhaga leathair air an làr ro taobh a’ Chaimbeulaich, thog e tè dhe na cathraichean a bha air beulaibh na sgeilpe agus shuidh e sìos. Bhruidhinn e gu socair, ìseal: “Mr Campbell? Are you okay, Mr Campbell? ”
Dhùisg an Caimbeulach sa bhad agus shuidh e an àird gu cabhagach. Las eMarlboro, agus cho luath ’s a thug e a’ chiad anail bha e air a chràdh le casad throm. Bha an t-aodann aige dearg agus bha deòir na shùilean. “Who’re you? ”thuirt e.
Thog MacIain canastair far na sgeilpe is shìn e chun a’ Chaimbeulaich e. Thuirt an Caimbeulach: “What the fuck are you doing here? What the fuck is going on?”
“Hair of the dog, ”thuirt MacIain. “I’ m Samuel Johnson. Depute Manager of this place. We’ve got to talk.”
“You’re proposing marriage? ”thuirt an Caimbeulach, agus thilg e an canastair dhan bhucaid. “If you are, no need for the booze – I’m off it just
“No, ”thuirt an Caimbeulach.
“Fine, ”thuirt MacIain. “The television guys are over the moon about you too. How are you making out with this Gaelic television stuff anyway?”
“I think, ”thuirt an Caimbeulach, “things just improved a lot.”
“Gets better, ”thuirt MacIain, agus thug e seachad cèis ruadh eile nach robh cho tiugh ris a’ chiad tè.
“What’s this? ”thuirt an Caimbeulach.
“Video cassettes and CDs, ”thuirt MacIain, “minus ten per cent for us. Two hundred and seventy quid for you. ”Thug e làn a dhùirn dè phàipearan a-mach às a’ bhaga. “Ready for the numbers? ”
Dh’èirich an Caimbeulach, thug e peann agus leabhar beag dubh a-mach à pocaid an taobh a-staigh dhen t-seacaid aige agus choimhead e sìos air MacIain. “Go for it.”
“Well, ”thuirt MacIain, “gross receipts totalled four thousand, five hundred and fifty-three pounds. What we had here was a full house. That’s not a hundred per cent capacity, you understand? Actually, you can’t get one hundred per cent in this house. Eight per cent of the boxes are permanently booked by Phoenix Fabrications – some kind of sponsorship-tax-break deal, I don’t know –”
“Never mind that, ”thuirt an Caimbeulach. Sgrìobh e san leabhar aige; “Gu lr. Cthr, gu l.” Thuirt e: “Your whack?”
“Expenses, ”thuirt MacIain, “for advertising, newspaper ads, promos on radio, printing –”
“Bottom line, ”thuirt an Caimbeulach.
“Okay, ”thuirt MacIain. “Bottom line comes to one three six oh. A little less that fifteen hundred.”
“You guys happy with that, then? ”thuirt an Caimbeulach. Sgrìobh e san leabhar: “CC. ml. gu l. – mrlch? !”
“Very, ”thuirt MacIain. “The way I get it, it’s a fifty-fifty split between you and Albion Television. That means your share comes too, I make it, a grand and a half?”
“You got that in cash? ”thuirt an Caimbeulach. Sgrìobh e san leabhar “Mart. Lthr. K. – ‘Saor., sr. m.dh.th.”
“Sure, ”thuirt MacIain. Thug e pasgan de notaichean air a cheangal le bannan lastaig -mach às a bhaga agus chuir e ann an làimh a’
“Oh, I’m proud of them both, ”thuirt an Caimbeulach is e a’ bruidhinn mar mhinistear Gàidhealach. “Yes, Sam, I’m glad I had the opportunity to be an instrument of the Lord’s will that both of them should be released from the grip of Satan. Calum Iain from drugs and poor, sweet Mary from prostitution. If you had seen that sorry pair in the depths of their degradation, Mary with her hair full of chewing gum and Calum Iain with his entire face smeared with glue, you would have wept. I was an instrument of their deliverance. I served Him by raising the pair of them out of the gutter, where they both lay, face down. In the stank.”
“Hey, Don, ”thuirt MacIain, “I just about wet myself at the Free Church minister character you did tonight. That was great. Oh, yes, and the dentist routine too. That was a knock-out. When’ll we get to see them on telly?”
“I don’t know, ”thuirt an Caimbeulach. “End of the year sometime.”
“Hey, Don, ”thuirt MacIain.
“What? ”thuirt an Caimbeulach.
“I was really happy at the show tonight, ”thuirt MacIain. “Were you happy?”
“I don’t think so, ”thuirt an Caimbeulach. “I don’t really know the meaning of happiness.”
“It means, ”thuirt MacIain, “that tears come to your eyes.”
“Oh, that, ”thuirt an Caimbeulach. “Well, then, I suppose I’m happy most of the time. ”
title | A Ceithir Deug |
internal date | 1996.0 |
display date | 1996 |
publication date | 1996 |
level | |
parent text | Cùmhnantan |